Archive for ‘Miscellanious’
NOTE: This may not fit in with the usually family-friendly fare of my blog, but this puzzle is so confusing that I am willing to take the risk to write it anyways. (Hopefully my employers don't check my blog as often as they threaten claim to do.) Today a friend of mine showed me a fruity condom that someone gave him. I was absolutely stunned by this. Not so much at the fact that a fruity condom can exist but rather at the fact that it does exist. To put it bluntly... I can't think of a single reason why I would ever use a fruity condom. When I told my friend that, he looked at me strangely. And if you were staring me straight in the face rather than reading my yamblings, then you'd probably do the same. So let me explain. This is a classy blog, therefore I will...
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I don't know about you, but I've really been in the mood to wumbo lately. What, you're not familiar with wumbo? You know! I wumbo. You wumbo. He/she/me wumbo. Wumboed. Wumboing. "We'll have thee wumbo." Wumborama? Wumbology, the study of wumbo? It's first grade! No? Still nothing? Perhaps these guys can reiterate it better than I can: I'm honestly surprised that Chapman University (that place where I chill at) doesn't offer a major or minor in Wumbology, considering how important a study it is to modern society. Luckily, Chapman offers self-designed majors and minors for the "undecisive" or "picky" as you may call them. To create my own minor, I have to create a program with at least 21 credits, 12 minimum upper-level classes. So if I were to propose my study program in Wumbology based on Chapman's current course catalog, it would look something like this: PHYS 101 -...
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I was shopping at The Triple B (Bed, Bath, Beyond) on dorm-related business when I noticed some unusual luggage tags. There was a package of 6 tags in different colors which each had this message: "This is NOT your bag." At first, one might wonder why anyone would waste their money on such pessimistic labeling. But a few seconds later it all makes sense. If you've just arrived in the airport after a million bajillion-hour flight from who knows where, of course you're going to be too tired to spot your luggage at the baggage claim. These brightly labeled bags not only make it easy for you to find your bag, it also CLEARLY informs people that the bag does not belong to them. So there is zero chance that anyone else would take home your bag, leaving you stranded in your dirty clothing that is filled with Coke and...
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Dear World, If you are reading this letter in a published format using an excessive number of juxtaposed typefaces, that means I now have control of the future of the planet. How did I end up obtaining it? Perhaps it was YouTube propaganda that led me to combine every country into a single-party state. Maybe Obama, Netanyahu, and I were playing poker and he lost... badly. Or maybe it's the fact that Jews cause global warming, and I happened to be in the right place at the right time. It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that I now have possession of the world and there is nothing you can do to stop me. There is good news, and it has nothing to do with saving 15% or more on car insurance. I am willing to return earth to the people, but I have a few demands that must...
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Today I was walking down the hallway and I noticed that a girl who was walking in front of me was wearing light blue... I suppose they are called dance shorts... which had white writing on them. I was trying to figure out what the writing said, and if I recall correctly it was something along the lines of THEISRATHA or something. Nah, that definitely was not it. But it was something like that. The point is I spent a good amount of time trying to figure out what the word was, and it completely baffled me. I tried to change around the spacing to see if that help, but no luck there. (If the girl that owns the shorts is reading this, please tell me right away what the word was!) Then it occurred to me that by staring at her shorts, I was in fact staring at her...
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I have now worked with little kids for 9 weeks. I have a whole yambling I want to discuss about my time doing that, but for now I have one issue to focus on. Hygiene. When I was a counselor for the kids between 8 and 10 years old, the bunks that we lived in had a connecting bathroom. And that's when I noticed how unsanitary little boys are. Being too lazy to wash hands is one thing. But not flushing the toilet? What do they think this is? A gas station restroom? No! This is a semi-private summer camp bathroom! There was one time where I witnessed a kid going straight from the stall back to his bed to go to sleep... no wiping, no flushing, no washing. Disturbing. Luckily I learned some rhymes while I was there that next time I'll have to inforce a lot better. You...
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