The Official Story

Danny Zeff was born in a log cabin in Canada on a cold wintery day. A myth reveals that four wise guys visited him while he went to Taco Bell for the first time, but the truth of this myth is unknown. Danny has real parents but prefers to be raised by coffee-drinking sea otters. He usually wears contacts, but he always keeps a pair of glasses with him to help avoid mongooses from attacking his manliness. A fortune teller once predicted that he will bleed to death on an elevator due to a massive paper cut on his middle finger on his right hand. However Danny has ignored this highly specific prediction and continues to live both a carpe diem and a laissez faire way of life. Danny would contribute more to his official story but he is too lazy to write more right now.

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