Monday this week was very eventful for me. Anyone in Sacramento that's been keep track of local news will understand why.
So that was the day I was scheduled to get my braces taken off, after a painful two years of harsh brushing and flossing (the latter of which I probably did about 10 times total). I wanted it to be a complete surprise so I told nobody about it. However during second period I told my friend Yosup that I would be leaving during the next period but I couldn't tell him why, but he would soon find out.
I had to leave at 10:30 from school to get to the orthodonist. Third period: I was sitting in my Global Studies class listening to a lecture on World War I... although I wasn't really listening as much as wondering when some person from the attendance office would come bring the slip of paper that would excuse me from class. At about 10:35 someone finally came in and handed Mr. Thompson a paper, assumingly the one that would let me leave. However without even looking at it, Thompson grabbed it and kept on lecturing. I thought he was going to speak until a break point, look at the paper, and then hand it to me but NOOOOO. He kept on talking and talking. And the whole time I was looking at his hand which was now crumbling the paper and ending up hidden in his fist. So now I was worried. I needed to leave but I didn't want to interrupt him in the middle of the lecture. That's called awkwardness. Finally at 10:45 I knew I really needed to leave. So I just got up and left. Mr. Thompson didn't say anything, thank goodness. But after I left the classroom I just bolted towards my mom's van to get on my way... not even stopping to say hi to Pratik and Pepper who wanted to chat.
So I got my braces off. That was quick and easy. And I picked a retainer with a watermelon design on it. It's legit. Nuff said about that.
I get back to school and I see there's a police car and several newstation vans surrounding the front of the school. A few people are being interviewed and I have no idea what is going on. Did someone get arrested? Did Pi Day come early this year? Then I find out that someone at school attempted to commit suicide. I'd rather not go into details with that since Yamblings is not a serious blog, but I think the KCRA news team would like to elaborate for you.
So it seems my friends made some connections. All of last week I was really down because I was so stressed out for numerous reasons. Then I told Yosup how I would be leaving and then I just leave randomly during third period. So there seems to have been some conclusion that I too had commited suicide... I know, not a laughing matter. But apparently there was some laughter. Hahaha. Glad to get that out of my system. But no I did not commit suicide nor was I involved with the suicide that happened. I know I left at almost the exact same time that the event occured, but it is completely coincidental.
Just want to make that clear.
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I have now worked with little kids for 9 weeks. I have a whole yambling I want to discuss about my time doing that, but for now I have one issue to focus on.
Hygiene.
When I was a counselor for the kids between 8 and 10 years old, the bunks that we lived in had a connecting bathroom. And that's when I noticed how unsanitary little boys are. Being too lazy to wash hands is one thing. But not flushing the toilet? What do they think this is? A gas station restroom? No! This is a semi-private summer camp bathroom! There was one time where I witnessed a kid going straight from the stall back to his bed to go to sleep... no wiping, no flushing, no washing. Disturbing.
Luckily I learned some rhymes while I was there that next time I'll have to inforce a lot better. You can learn these too:
- If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.
- Do not rush. Always flush.
- Be a man. Wash your hands.
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I'm officially creeped out. I knew for a long time that MySpace was place full of pedophiles and prostitutes, but I never thought the former would end up on Facebook. After all, it's Facebook.... a clean website for college and high school kids.
I was invited by my friend to join this application called Owned. I also hesitate to join any app because I think I use too many but I finally decided to give in. The idea behind this app is that you can buy your friend for a certain amount of virtual money and that increases his value. But then other people can outbid you and buy your friend for a higher price.
So it started out that one of my close friends bought me for $1. Later that day I saw that some random person bought me for more. And then a second random person bought me. And then a third random person bought me. Then just about an hour ago I saw that the second random person has bought me again. I looked at some of his other "purchases" and saw that he "owns" a lot of young males ranging from 16 to 28. And that really freaks me out. I can't look at his profile but I can see a picture of him: a guy in his mid-30s or mid-40s with a mustache. That spells pedophile. And now I'm creeped out.
I suppose I could just remove the app. But I know he can't look at my profile. Let's see how this plays out.
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Today was (and I suppose still is) my birthday. I am 17. And it was quite an eventful day. I would like to outline for my own pleasure in explicit detail:
- At approximately midnight I went to bed.
- I woke up. It occurred to me it was my birthday.
- I showered, got dressed, and put my contact lenses in.
- On my way to school I had a Go-gurt and OJ for breakfast (the juice, not Simpson!).
- I took my English final. It was overwhelming at first but I eased my way into it and wrote for the win. It was very different from any other final I've taken so far and looking back I enjoyed it.
- I had a 15-minute break although it felt like 5.
- I had my PE final. That meant that I sat in the gym for 2 hours (weight room for maybe 20 minutes) doing various stuff. Womble and I wrote some odes: an ode to fire alarms, an ode to odes, and an ode to the iPod. Then we played cards. It was the last time ever that I will have to wear that PE uniform. Thank God.
- After school I bought the Student Music and Recording Project (SMARP) CD. Actually I asked for it at a discount since I helped make it, and a copy was slipped into my arms. I shouldn't have revealed that.
- While waiting for my ride I played cards with sophomores.
- For lunch I ate at Sonic, my first time in three years. I had a Fritos Chili Cheese wrap and a watermelon slushie. Delicious.
- I went into Fry's Electronics to purchase a Wii (half gift/half my own purchase). Unfortunately they were out. So then I called other stores and everyone was out. That was the only disappointing thing of the day. At Target, I bought three games for the Wii (Galaxy, Kart, Brawl) but alas I have nothing to play them on. I will have to order the cosnsole online.
- I saw Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull or whatever it's called. It was a good movie, though the whole alien thing was weird.
- I stepped into Best Buy as a last chance to see if they had the Wii. They did not, but I got to play Mario Kart Wii on the demo they had.
- When I got home and went online, I saw I had 50+ wall posts from people wishing me a happy birthday. That is definitely the best birthday present ever.
- I was so happy I logged onto my own website and wrote this post.
And that is all. I hope you enjoyed!
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Yesterday all around school I saw images of something that resembled the famous Breakfast Club picture. Having been in our school adaptation of the show, I was intrigued by these posters. Turns out the school was showing an advanced screening of a new movie called American Teen, which is not set to come out until August. Based on the poster it looked like it would be a parody of teen movies, specifically The Breakfast Club. I guess sort of like Not Another Teen Movie, but since this was a Sundance winner it must had a more intelligent form of comedy. That night I looked it up on YouTube and was disappointed to discover it was not a pure comedy but actually a documentary exploring themes similar to Breakfast Club. Still it sounded interesting and I decided to go.
And now that I have seen it I will do my review. It was not all that bad. It documented the senior year of five kids in a high school in Warsaw, Illinois. Each kid was a completely different stereotype: the brain, the athlete, the princess, the criminal, and the basketcase. Okay actually the criminal and the basketcase were sort of combined into one thing: the rebel. And a new stereotype was added: the heartthrob. The poster promises that "before the year was over, they broke the rules, bared their souls, and changed in ways they never dreamed possible." However I don't recall any of that. As far as I could tell, they remained in their stereotypes throughout the year and did not really change until college. Sure they interacted with each other every now and then, but overall they kept to their own cliques. The movie was not really something to laugh with but rather to laugh at. That is because, unlike the characters in The Breakfast Club, it is hard to sympathize with these characters. Each one breaks up with a boyfriend/girlfriend or has a fight with a close friend. But I can't feel sorry for them because they all go crazy for superficial reasons. Then again, Brian Johnson did try to commit suicide because he failed a project in woodshop. But Brian's a funny guy. The geek in this movie is not. And neither are the other people. There were a few good laughs because of their stupidity, but honestly I lost interest about an hour into the movie.
Something I question is the truth of this movie. We all know that reality television is definitely scripted. I find it hard to believe that American Teen is not. How could have these kids actually allowed cameramen to follow them around for an entire year? And it's not just at school.... you see scenes of the kids driving in cars, talking with parents, eating at restaurants, and more. And did they start filming in the beginning of the year hoping that the actions of the kids would develop into a plot? There's one scene where the rebel girl is watching TV on the couch and she suddenly receives a text message (the heartthrob has decided to breakup with her). And by coincidence someone was filming her at the same time. Right... Then there's another scene where a picture of topless girl is e-mailed to multiple people. So apparently they predicted where the e-mails would be sent and they had cameras stationed at each household. Something fishy's going on.
I can't say I came out of the movie learning something new. As I said before, I don't think any of the five kids really learned anything either... until the left high school for good. I was discussing with friends and we agree that I'm somewhere between the geek and the rebel. I guess I'm an inbetween.
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Tomorrow is Day of Silence. Let's raise the roof tomorrow and bring on the noise.
I'm not against the LGBT community. Not at all. But I don't think they need a national protest of silence... especially not year after year. Especially when there's so much else to protest about (remember that regular unleaded gas has risen to nearly $4 a gallon?). So forget the Day of Silence. Let's have a Day of Noise. Bring your boom box to school, crank it up, and make some noise!
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I've been a Harry Potter fan for a long time. I used to be a much bigger fan around 8th grade, going to MuggleNet almost daily and maintaining an online magic school (which is still up lying in ashes). Now that all seven books are out and the movies have destroyed the beauty of the series, I have other things to focus on. However I still think about this great series and what it would be like if I was actually there. I can't help but wonder what house I would be put in if that smelly old Sorting Hat was rested upon my head. Let's think about.
I know for sure that there's zero chance I'd end up in Slytherin. We all know that Slythern only contains full-blood British white upper-class Christian children whose parents worship the Dark Lord. I always imagined myself being a half-blood American wizard, and being Jewish doesn't help either. And as much as I like snakes, I can live without them. I've heard that in the years after Harry defeated Voldemort the house is less "pure this pure that." But you know once a mudblood hater, always a mudblood hater. So I think I'll skip Slytherin.
Usually when I fill out those online polls about which house to place you in, I'm put in Gryffindor. I know that it's the best house, since it's where Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore and Fred Weasley all came from... or at least the books are biased enough to convince me it's the best. But I don't see myself as the right type of person for Gryffindor. That house is all about bravery. And I'm not that brave. Hell, I'm usually too scared to make phone calls to people. If I can't do that, how do they expect me to battle dragons and let fire come from the end of my wand? Plus, without Harry or Oliver Weasley, their Quidditch isn't really that great. So as much as I'd be honored to be part of Gryffindor, I'd turn it down also.
Ravenclaw looks like it would suit me the best. It's full of all the smart kids. In fact I bet it's like the IB program of Hogwarts. Which means we'd only hang out with one another rarely socializing with kids from other houses. I wonder if Ravenclaw kids are offered advanced honors classes, like Honors Potions or APHOM (Advanced Placement History of Magic). It sounds like that would be my kind of house. Of course perhaps that would mean my life would have to totally be devoted to my studies. Would I not have any time for extracurricular activities or weekend trips to Hogsmeade? That's no fun. Still, I think Ravenclaw would be my best choice.
And then of course there is Hufflepuff. Supposedly they represent hard working, loyal students. But in reality, and even the Sorting Hat agrees, people who end up in Hufflepuff are the kids that are neither stuck-up (Slytherin), brave (Gryffindor), or smart (Ravenclaw). They're the ones that are just there. I'd be insulted if I was placed in Hufflepuff. I'd just drop out of the school right then and there. Not to mention their animal is a badger. A badger? Please. Who'd want a badger representing themselves? Yeah, that's just not for me.
As I said before, I think Ravenclaw would be my best choice. On second thought, I'd rather just stay in public school.
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When thinking about why I like Jewish girls, I know I prefer them over shiksas for a few different reasons. Often Jewish girls are prettier, nicer, friendlier, and of course they are Jewish. Also that shomer negia thing is just another way of “playing hard to get.” But truthfully, the real reason I like Jewish girls is because of their names.
You got to agree with me that Jewish girls have good names. Their names sound pretty and are easier to remember. Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, Ruth, Miri, Samantha, Jessica, Shanon, Sharon, Hannah, Deborah, Elizabeth, Rachel….. that last one must be the most common name ever. Ever notice how if you walk into a room full of a hundred Jewish girls and you call out for Rachel, there will always be at least one that responds? Actually I don’t think I have ever walked into a room filled solely with Jewish girls. But if I did, I’d enjoy it. Lots.
My point is I like Jewish girls because of their names. You can call me crazy, or meshuganah if you’re in the right mood. But just think about it a little. Now who’s the meshuganah one?
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Now this little piece I’m going to write about contains deep thoughts. I’ve been thinking about how to word it all day and I want to make sure that I explain my feelings with complete and utter seriousness. Valentines Day is around the corner. As we all know, this is not a holiday made up to remember Saint Valentine, who was one of the several martyred saints of ancient Rome according to Wikipedia. Rather, Valentines Day is a holiday that was invented by young couples in the nineteenth century that was later bought out by Hallmark as that greeting card company is the only company in the world that can patent national holidays. So instead of having a free holiday, we must waste the money that could have gone to the millions of children starving in Africa to buy greeting cards and heart-shaped boxes of miniature chocolates with disgusting little jelly-flavored creams inside. That’s capitalism for ya.
I wouldn’t say I hate Valentines Day. I could argue that it’s a Christian holiday therefore as a Jew I shouldn’t celebrate it. But as I said before, Hallmark owns the holiday so it doesn’t really belong to any religion at all. It’s actually quite a joyous occasion. Everyone wears red and pink and salmon and maroon and basically every other shade of red that Crayola has tried to patent (there’s capitalism again). There’s a huge distribution of candy hearts that have little messages on them, and every year they seem to get more up to date with the times; ten years ago I may have gotten one that says KISS ME and now I get hearts that say EMAIL ME. There’s so much love in the air that who could possibly imagine that at the same time we’re at war in Iraq or a mass genocide is occurring in Sudan.
And of course Valentines Day is the time when you’re obligated to love your beloved, as if you despise them the other 364 days of the year (this year it would be 365 other days). Even though I see couples together all the time, this is the day they really stand out. And it’s Valentines Day that makes the average single person feel left out. Someone like me.
Another Valentines Day will come and go and I will still be without a girlfriend. I’ve been trying to tell myself I don’t mind. After all, there is an extremely low chance that my true love would be someone at a poorly-funded public high school called “Seeing a Hill” when translated into English. It’s a school full of shiksas, and no nice Jewish boy would want to end up with one of those. However, despite what I tell myself, I constantly wish I could be with a girl. It used to be that I wanted what we label as a “girlfriend.” But after a week-long international convention with my youth group, I realize that it’s not so much that I want a girlfriend but really I just want to hook up with someone. Or to put it in the words I once described to someone, “I want to get inside someone’s mouth.” I’m not looking to lose my virginity nor do I want to impregnate someone (not yet anyhoo) but it would be nice to have that first kiss.
I don’t know why I have such difficulty in this subject. Perhaps it’s my extreme shyness. Maybe it’s because I never had a sister so I’ve never really been that close to girls. It could be because I type long essays on the subject with elongated sophisticated vocabulary like this. Whatever it is, I have tended to notice I am uncomfortable around girls. At this convention that I spoke of earlier, we had a dance and people were pressuring me to hook up with this one girl. I really wanted to, but I couldn’t find the right moment or the comfortableness to do so. I actually blame it on the DJ playing terrible music, but most of it was that I was downright scared. However it’s probably good that I didn’t hook up with her as she is a family friend who I usually see at least once a week. It could have been completely awkward. Feel free to do an awkward turtle as you read this.
In my youth group, the idea is to hook up with as many girls as possible. There’s a whole points system to it, and people are worth a certain amount of points based on what kind of leadership position they have in the group. I don’t like this idea of making out with dozens of anonymous girls (wait…. yes I do), but rather I’d prefer to stick to girls I really like. And I do mean like. At times I’ve tried to call it “love” or “in love” but I realize it’s really only a like. I’ve had a number of crushes, but it seems that with all of the “huge” crushes I have approached them completely wrong.
I don’t understand how guys and girls come together and all of a sudden they become boyfriend and girlfriend. I don’t know if like the guy asks the girl, “Hey, you want to be my girlfriend” and the girl is like “Yeah okay” and then they hug and kiss each other for a few weeks until the guy realizes that he doesn’t really like the girl and then tears ensue from both of them for a couple of days onward. That sounds so simple, yet I just can’t do that. It doesn’t make sense to me. So with all of these crushes I have kept my thoughts on, I have been unable to enter that process of becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s simply because I don’t know how.
I used to try to approach crushes by telling them indirectly that I like them. Two years ago on Valentines Day I did something that I now completely regret. I know that the girl that it involves knows that I did it, so I have no shame in talking about it even though I’m not revealing what it was that I did. Let’s just say I’m very embarrassed about it and if I could turn back time and change any moment of my life, I would stop myself from doing what I did. Also I know now that rhyming in the ABAB pattern is anything but romantic. And if that same girl is reading this right now, hello to you good madam.
Now what happens to me is I go through several stages of symptoms. And by summer 2007 when I was in Israel and crushing once again, I was able to recognize what these stages were. And it seems that they happen every time I start to crush on a girl. It starts with me meeting the girl. Usually I see her before actually meet her, but once I get into a fun conversation with her I begin to question whether or not I like her. It becomes denial; no of course I don’t like her. She’s just a girl with a nice personality. More recently it’s become, “Shit, I hope this isn’t a new crush. I don’t want to go through these stages again. Please don’t let me like her!” When I finally accept that I like her, I try to stay close to her. If I’ve become friends with her, I may try to join a conversation that she is in with a group of friends. I’ll wave when I pass by her or maybe I’ll give her a compliment. Then I try to figure out if she likes me back. Probably in the case of most of my crushes the answer is no, but at the time it always seems like yes. I think any guy can agree with me that we think about absolutely everything girls say to us, trying to figure out the deeper meaning. If the girl I like says she likes my shoes, then I interpret that as a flirty comment. At some point I am convinced that she likes me back.
At this point I reach the happiest moment of the stages; it’s the peak of the mountain before a huge downfall. I’m constantly thinking about the girl, unable to concentrate on the task at hand in reality. I start to think about how I could actually tell this girl that I like her without making the same mistakes that I have made in the past. Soon I conclude that she doesn’t really like me back, or if she does, she lost that lovely thought. Instead of trying to be with her all the time, I try to avoid being alone with her to avoid awkwardness (throw in an awkward moose if you want). I know that she doesn’t like me and that I’m too uncomfortable to say that I like her, so a stage of depression kicks in. Sometimes the depression is added to when another guy, obviously better looking than me and with a more outgoing personality, decides to steal my crush from me. There’s nothing I can do about it as I know I had my chance to make a move. And that’s what keeps me depressed for several days, or sometimes even a few weeks. At some point I finally get over the crush, usually because I start liking another girl. Yet the old girl is always in my mind, and I never see her in the same light again.
Honestly, I don’t get girls. I understand that the only real difference between them and us guy is that they lack a Y chromosome. And also they have boobs. And a vagina. Often they have small feet. But emotionally they seem so complex. A friend today argued that they are simple, but no. They are complex. I do like girls. A lot. They are pretty little things (I say that metaphorically as I would never objectify a woman). And for me it’s not so much about looks as it is personality…. although I do prefer cute-looking girls over fat sluts that really should wear shorts that go past their knees. But girls in general can be confusing when it comes to stuff like relationships.
So alas I remain alone. I fear that I may remain alone until college, or worse yet I may become a real 40-year-old virgin. Let’s hope I do get that confidence boost at some point though. Until then, I suppose I will continue looking at pictures of girls I have befriended on MySpace and photoshopping my face over their boyfriends. No, I don’t really do that. Not the latter part at least. Well, thanks for reading this epic rant that is probably longer than the average IB extended essay. Have a happy Valentines Day and don’t stop thinking about that genocide in Sudan!
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